When I was 7 years old,
my family had season tickets to Kixx soccer games,
a Philadelphia sports team, that, if I’m being honest,
I could have cared less about.
But on our drives into the city, every Saturday night,
we passed this factory that had tall stacks with smoke rushing out of them.
The smoke went straight up into the sky
and at 7 years old, I believed this was how clouds were made.

When you’re young and don’t understand something,
you make things make sense for yourself.
Even if they do not make sense to anybody else,
because it’s not good enough to hear the words “I don’t know, that’s a good question sweetie.”
At 7 years old, you need answers.
You need to know why things happen the way they do,
why they happen at a certain time,
and why they happen to you.

Why do bad things happen to good people?
Is a question I asked at 7 years old,
and it’s one I am still trying to answer.

If a person does everything right in their lives,
abides by society’s “rules,”
Why are they the ones getting cancer?
Why are they the ones who have their houses burn down?
Why are they the ones living in the streets?

Why, why, why, do bad things happen to good people?

Why is it, that my grandfather, who raised two respectable children,
who has stayed true to his wife for over 50 years,
who saved all his money so his grandchildren could afford to go to the college of their dreams,
has a disease where he will not remember any of the good he has provided for this world?

He looks at me now with a blank expression,
where I used to see the light that shined from his eyes.
He does not hear what I say
and he does not see who I am.

He will be gone before I graduate college.
He will be gone before he can dance at my wedding.
He will be gone before I make something of myself.

I have no explanation for why bad things happen to good people,
no made up reason like a factory that puts clouds in the sky.

But maybe that’s the point of this life,
nothing is certain, except for the marks we make on others.

My grandfather has marked me with his wings,
and I choose to fly.