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Love is the One Who Kills
April 15, 2014
As the wind breathes down the icy cave,
And Autumn leaves fall to the ground,
Another mourner laments the grave,
With that inhuman crying sound,
As the roses placed so carefully,
Soon begin to wilt and crumble,
To the one who said things boastfully,
Now lies here quiet and humble,
I hear him begin to whisper to me,
Of many things so long forgotten,
Suddenly remembered in clarity,
Spewn from the depths of this icy coffin,
"As the ivy grows green on yonder hill,
And children wander through the grass,
Remember that love is the one who kills,
That it will always be so. Alas."
And to hear this cry to me once more,
It nearly brings me back again,
But then I feel my death restored,
For he had loved another friend.
© Francesca Y., Robbinsdale, MN
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This article has 18 comments.
I feel like this is a fine example of a poem that could receive a 5 out of 5, but it doesn't seem to have a huge amount of rinnovation to it. I feel that in any great piece of literature, some amount of innovation. The rhythm is great, the words are exemplory, and I can't find much wrong with it other than a lack of anything that REALLY hits home, and really connects with the audience and hasn't been done before. I'll give it a 4.5 out of 5.
TheOceansBlackBird SILVER said...
on Oct. 12 2014 at 2:53 am
oops i meant to reply to you in that most recent comment I just posted. so yeah just look up ^
TheOceansBlackBird SILVER said...
on Oct. 12 2014 at 2:52 am
Miss you too. Yeah i just dont come on here as often. I've been really busy... thank you so much. It makes me so happy when people don't just read my piece and continue browsing but actually feel something reading it. Thanks and I'll try to come on more often and catch up with people
EmilytheBelleofA. DIAMOND said...
on Sep. 17 2014 at 9:11 am
Wow. This is absolutely beautiful. I love it. It just goes so smoothly. It's really, really beautiful. You have such a talent and greatness in you, I hope you know that. Thank you for sharing this!
juliehugbear BRONZE said...
on Aug. 9 2014 at 1:41 pm
this is incredibly beautiful
TheOceansBlackBird SILVER said...
on Jul. 12 2014 at 3:18 am
Thank you so much! this was one of my poems that I just sat down and wrote... didnt really think about it or anything... so it means a lot that my first thoughts are so inspiring (and on someones favorites page)
Olivia-Atlet ELITE said...
on Jul. 12 2014 at 2:58 am
This has to be my favorite by you so far! Actually, a favorite EVER! This is going in my favorites page! I absolutely adore the passion in this piece, and the reatability. :) Keep inspiring!
Lucifer666 said...
on Apr. 19 2014 at 9:31 am
(｡+･`ω･´) anytime orgasm
TheOceansBlackBird SILVER said...
on Apr. 18 2014 at 8:16 pm
Thank you all so much.
TheOceansBlackBird SILVER said...
on Apr. 18 2014 at 8:16 pm
It's ok XD Thanks so much Strawberry Passion!
TheOceansBlackBird SILVER said...
on Apr. 18 2014 at 8:14 pm
I like to leave that up for interpretation... but if you think it is, then it is.
Lucifer666 said...
on Apr. 17 2014 at 7:14 pm
XD pardon my typos orgasm
Lucifer666 said...
on Apr. 17 2014 at 7:13 pm
Your poems, flows almost impeccably. The word "spewn" I believe it should be "Spewed" It hard for me to fathom words tro describe what exactly comes to mind, when I read this. The poem itself, its filled with eccentricity, and your "Alas" is a great brilliant word many great writers use, as it's powerful. The imagery on this poem is thpought provoking, "As the wind breathes down the icy cave, And Autumn leaves fall to the ground, Another mourner laments the grave, With that inhuman crying sound..." Certainly drew me in. Your juxtaposition opening captivated me, as it's intriguing. Brilliantly written! I especially liked how this was a morbid piece, I find happiness in morbidness. And, excuse my lengthy comment, I want to make sure I've fully acknowledged your piece. Amazing work.
living_in_grey said...
on Apr. 17 2014 at 5:16 pm
very powerful...loved it
GhostMatrix SILVER said...
on Apr. 16 2014 at 10:26 pm
Ocean is this about Death? Good Work. Keep writing.
9 articles 14 photos 115 comments
Favorite Quote:
One persons craziness is another persons reality<br /> -Tim Burton<br /> <br /> and then there's this one<br /> ╭∩╮（︶︿︶）╭∩╮