In the Stars | Teen Ink

In the Stars

June 12, 2014
By Crying SILVER, Glen Ellyn, Illinois
Crying SILVER, Glen Ellyn, Illinois
8 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Even when I'm far away
When I'm not near enough one day
Look to the stars
And you'll see my face
A hot yet icy place
And if it looks like a tear you see
Then maybe it is a tear that it be
For I'll cry when I'm gone
But you shouldn't be sad
It's nothing that major
It's nothing bad
I'll fly up to heaven
And when I'm gone
Please don't cry
You'll go on with your lives
Day after day
Trust me...
I'm going to be okay



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This article has 7 comments.


Different said...
on Jun. 15 2014 at 6:41 am
I find this a really good poem, one of the best I've read. I rate it a five/five! 

once said...
on Jun. 15 2014 at 4:36 am
Your poem is wonderful

Muffin said...
on Jun. 15 2014 at 2:40 am
Love it,great work!

RainbowFires said...
on Jun. 15 2014 at 2:36 am
I give it 4/5 stars! Honestly I think this is a pretty good poem, I love how it's put together. This is very nice and I hope you continue writing stuff like this c:

musicgurl333 said...
on Jun. 15 2014 at 1:01 am
I really like the last four lines of the poem. I don't know why, exactly...they're simple, but they connected with me somehow. Plus they flowed really nicely, and the rhyming felt very natural, and not forced at all. It was a really nice way to end the poem. :)   Overall I like the poem, although I did finad parts of it a bit confusing. How is your face a "hot yet icy place"? Maybe you could make that a little more clear by replacing it with a strong image or two, showing the reader hot your face it hot yet icy. Also, I was wondering about the line "I'll cry when I'm gone". What are you crying for? Yourself? The person/people you left behind? Something else entirely? I'd love to see that shown a little bit more in the poem.   I hope that helps! :) Really nice poem overall. Definitely keep writing! :)

Kydashing said...
on Jun. 15 2014 at 12:19 am
I have to say, i like the idea here. It is simple and shows a sad but honest thought. "Nothing major" was he only thing that bugged me, since it sounds like a slang/young talk. Sounds rude but i am saying my opinion, thanks for having me see this i like it keep it up! <3

Sammy said...
on Jun. 14 2014 at 10:39 pm
I loved this! It seems deep and meaningful, and the words seem to flow in a very fitting way. I love your choice of words!