All Nonfiction
- Bullying
- Books
- Academic
- Author Interviews
- Celebrity interviews
- College Articles
- College Essays
- Educator of the Year
- Heroes
- Interviews
- Memoir
- Personal Experience
- Sports
- Travel & Culture
All Opinions
- Bullying
- Current Events / Politics
- Discrimination
- Drugs / Alcohol / Smoking
- Entertainment / Celebrities
- Environment
- Love / Relationships
- Movies / Music / TV
- Pop Culture / Trends
- School / College
- Social Issues / Civics
- Spirituality / Religion
- Sports / Hobbies
All Hot Topics
- Bullying
- Community Service
- Environment
- Health
- Letters to the Editor
- Pride & Prejudice
- What Matters
- Back
Summer Guide
- Program Links
- Program Reviews
- Back
College Guide
- College Links
- College Reviews
- College Essays
- College Articles
- Back
One Day
June 16, 2014
Every night
"How are you doing?"
Concerned questions,
wonders filling my head.
Asking, but not answering.
Hoping, but not fulfilling.
Thinking that all might be okay,
just for at least one day.
Loading...
"I did it again."
Hesitated confessions,
self-loathing consuming.
Answering, but not explaining.
Hopeless, but always hoping.
Thinking that all might be okay,
just for at least one day.
© Ashley W., Port Charlotte, FL
Similar Articles
Previous Next
JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 16 comments.
I might as well as explain the poem, since you were confused on some parts of it. This poem is about me and one of my online friends who is going through a rough time. I always ask her how she's doing, though I fear her answer. The 'loading' part represents the await of her her reply. The secont part of the poem represents my online friend. Thank you for the feedback though, I'll see what I can do with it! And I may rename it 'Hopelessly Hopeful'.
Your poem is leaking with creativity. You used interesting words and used them well. Some things to work on, perhaps? 1) The title does not seem to connect to the poem very well. Maybe you could change the title to something like "Hopelessly Hoping". Just a suggestion. 2) Half the poem (until verse 8) is about one idea. The other half of the poem is about something else I don't quite understand. I suggest you either turn the second part of the poem into a different stanza or delete it altogether. 3) The second part is repeating the first. "Hoping, but not fulfilling ; Hopeless, but always hoping." Perhaps you can unite those two lines together in someway so that you do not have to completely drop the idea of the second stanza? 4) Perhaps delete "Loading..."? Because I don't see what it is there for. These are just some areas to consider working on. Other than that, your poem is very well-written and thought-provoking. Thought-provoking, especially. Very few poems make me think as much as your poem did. I hope my critique was helpful. I'm sorry if I sounded harsh. And remember that you don't have to do everything I said. It's your poem, you're the author, and you get to decide what you will do.
BrightBurningCampeador PLATINUM said...
on Aug. 16 2014 at 3:23 pm
I like the sound and rhythm of this poem. It's got great form. But I just have a hard time making a connection with the content. It's a beautiful poem, but in sort of a remote way, for me at least. Of course, there's nothing wrong with that.
Gabrielleamar GOLD said...
on Jun. 29 2014 at 9:09 pm
Wow I could totally relate to this beautiful poem! Remarkable talent in placing words. You write simply yet profoundly and you succeed in expressing your emotions ever so delicately in the greatest fashion possible. Well done!
SabrinaFaire SILVER said...
on Jun. 27 2014 at 10:10 pm
I love how it gives you the numb feeling along with the words! Love the diction!
WinterRose76 SILVER said...
on Jun. 25 2014 at 2:28 pm
You're a fantastic writer! I love your style of writing - it makes the reader pay close attention. I found it to be very interesting and splendidly written! Great job!
5 articles 0 photos 23 comments
Favorite Quote:
"There are much greater things ahead than any we might leave behind" ~C.S. Lewis