AND EVEN THROUGH ALL THOSE THERAPISTS AND YOGA LESSONS AND NATURE WALKS AND MEDITATIONS I STILL COULDN'T TAME MY ERRATIC HEART. "IT'S OKAY," THEY SAID BUT THEY'RE ALL GOD DAMNED LIARS BECAUSE NOTHING WAS OKAY AND IF IT WAS, THERE  WOULDN'T BE WORRIED DOCTORS  AND HEART  TREATMENTS  SO MY IDIOT HEART WOULDN'T RUSH ME TO  AN EARLY DEATH. SO  NO, IT DEFINITELY WAS NOT OKAY BECAUSE I WAS A SPECIAL CASE AND I COULDN'T FIND MY CURE. THEY SAID FOR SOME PEOPLE IT WAS BAKING OR READING OR MAYBE WRITING. I SHOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT IT, THEY SAID, BUT I WAS ALMOST OUT OF TIME, NO AMOUNT OF PILLS AND DRUGS WOULD SLOW MY HEART SAVE FOR MY CURE, I JUST HAD TO FIND IT, I JUST HAD TO FIND YOU BECAUSE AMIDST EVERYTHING ELSE, YOU ARE MY PILLS, YOU ARE MY MEDICINE, YOU ARE MY CURE,

YOU ARE MY ANODYNE