I never meant to end up with him.
I didn't even know his name,
but now as I sit here wrapped in his arms
his name tastes like sweet candy on my lips
(you know the kind you never let me eat as a child)
and I never want to stop saying it.

It was not your intention, I know.
there will always be that weird kid.
But you never wanted it to be me,
then again why would you?

You always moved me around,
you kept on hoping that there would be that one
who was just slightly weirder than I was.
Trust me I was just as surprised
to find a person even weirder than I was.
(But we see how that turned out now don't we?)

And I guess the saying is wrong
because the only opposite thing
about us is the colors of our hair.
But I still wonder why this thing
we have going is so forbidden.

It may sound like a muffled whisper
like that candy that I always had to hide
from you because you were afraid
it would rot my teeth tasted so much better than
that perfect apple you handed to me
before I went to school every day,
the kind that you refused to eat
once you realize that it was bruised.

The first time I held his hand
I felt like a child who had just
fit together her lego pieces.
Not like a puzzle that you have to
glue together for hours if you want it to stay,
but nobody knows that once its hanging
in that perfect frame,
in your perfect house,
in your perfect living room that no one ever fought in
because look at our family portrait
where we are all smiling and
I didn't even fight about wearing that dress
because I'm smiling so I must be happy.

I know that he will never leave me and
I don't know if you are jealous
but no matter how hard you try
only we have the key to these handcuffs.

You say you only sent me here
to live out my dream,
that you only want what's really best for me.
But we both know who this was really for.
why wont you let go of that pink baby dress
you keep at the back of your closet?
because I am sorry to tell you
that I will never be able to fit into it again.
 
Just like you will never be able
to fit into that wedding dress again
and even if you were able to
I promise you that he is not going to be
knocking on our door in a tux anytime soon.

How did you agree
to a bruised apple?
How did you not give up
during all those hours
you spent on that perfect puzzle,
and why is it still hanging
in our perfect house,
in our perfect living room?

I know you thought that your tattoo free,
money making,
apple dentist
would be loyal to you.
And I know that you don't want me dating this boy
with my name etched into his skin.
And I want to talk to you
but it is becoming hard
to read a blank book.


You can cry all you want about
how I am ruining my life
but your money making,
apple, dentist seemed
perfectly fine with his new girlfriend
but maybe he is intrigued
by the story she has all over her skin.