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Bloom (Secret Garden II)
March 11, 2015
somehow
unnoticed
a blooming bush of pink flowers
petals
spilling over one another,
falling to the ground.
dead flowers lie
half-melted
in
the soil.
© Mary A., Fullerton, CA
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This article has 10 comments.
Z.V.Oksana PLATINUM said...
on Jun. 5 2015 at 8:09 pm
You did an great job of expressing imagery through brief descriptions. The meter is... interesting. It doesn't necessarily NOT flow well, but it feels like I'm taking breaths after every line, giving the poem almost an exasperated feel. With this kind of meter, you can express your thoughts in very few words. That's the beauty of poetry, I believe. Great job!
TheBlackCrow901 SILVER said...
on Apr. 13 2015 at 1:38 pm
i really like the image of melting flowers, great read :)
SerendipitousWonderland GOLD said...
on Mar. 16 2015 at 4:46 pm
This poem is so visually enticing (great imagery), the word choice was really the deal maker here. For me, the line "somehow/unnoticed" really represents what nature is like. That smooth, connected flow of season into season that you don't notice until everything is different. I love it!
BreeZephyr SILVER said...
on Mar. 16 2015 at 10:06 am
Ha ha, the ads on the side of the page are trying to sell me floral bedding sets. I think some company has latched onto your "Secret Garden" title. Anyway, I liked this poem. It isn't quite as thought-provoking as some of your other works, but it gives a nice image. The description "half-melted in the soil" is a unique touch. Also, just wanted to say...I appreciate that you don't try to overdo your descriptions to "show" readers your writing talent--you let your message do the talking. Too many people would have grabbed onto the image of some flowers and written a very flowery (*cough cough*, pun intended) poem about it.
MysticMusic ELITE said...
on Mar. 15 2015 at 6:38 pm
Beautiful and short descriptions that paint a clear and beautiful image. I really love poems that are somehow simplistic and at the time, seem to show so much with so few words. Yours is one of those poems, and I love the delicate imagery here.
A bit of my Creative Writing homework (describing a place). I chose my Secret Garden.
"And yet, somehow unnoticed, there is a blooming bush of pink flowers, petals spilling over one another and falling to the ground. Multiple dead flowers are on the ground, either from a few days or a few years ago, half-melted into the soil."