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I dont know how to love. I was never told or showed how to. My house was a war zone and now that dads gone this man is in the house with my mom and I call it home. He's more of a father to me then my actual dad. Food on the table close on my back. And on top of that he loves my mother and she loves him back. He hasn't Done anything wrong they're going on two years and their love is strong. So what is a father? Is it the man who raised me and doesnt make an effort to speak to me. Or the man in the house who treats me like a daughter. They say the First man you love should be your father. I loved my dad but im fifteen years old and don't remember what we had. And now there's a boy I like and I can't act right. Where are the boundries where do I stop. I haven't been loved or had attention in six years. My brother calling me fat and ugly. Ex step-dad use to say dress to impress. But I was ten and dressed to impress me it was simple. So I ask What is a father. I only know rude men. And How do you love cause all i know is how to start a war.
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I wrote this last year. It was a good time last year but things happen this year and i have a nother poem. More words of hatred twords the men that have been in my life.