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How to be a Teenager
Ingredients:
2 times screaming “this is not a phase”
1 driver's license
An inch of freedom
10 talks with your mother about how you’re “changing”
A heap of acting like you don’t care about anything
A wink of caring about literally everything
3 whispers of run-ins with the police
5 forced smiles at various family events
An obsession with social media
2 broken phones
1 increased heartbeat from your first love
1 heartbreak
3 lost friends due to petty misunderstood drama
Loads of gossip
A valley of tears
An ocean of worry about not being good enough
Directions:
Begin with 1 driver’s license that allows you to find an inch of freedom.
Next combine a heap of acting like you don’t care about anything with a wink of caring about literally everything
Mix 1 increased heartbeat from your first love, 3 whispers of run-ins with the police, an obsession with social media, and 2 broken phones
Offset this mixture with 10 talks with your mother about how you’re changing and a contrast of 2 times screaming “this is not a phase”
Stir in 5 forced smiles at various family events
Lastly, for emotion combine 1 heartbreak, 3 lost friends due to petty misunderstood drama, loads of gossip, a valley of tears, and an ocean of worry about not being good enough
Combine all ingredients and you will learn how to be a Teenager
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