Where’s Auntie Jane? When is Auntie Jane coming back? Why did she leave? Are we sleeping there tonight?

She’s home. Later, after the fireworks. She needed a nap. You slept there last night. No.

    I love July. Fireworks, cookouts, late nights on the lake, and family over every night. This is the best July ever! It’s the first July we didn’t miss the fireworks because we went to New Jersey last week instead of this one. Plus we are spending it on the boat with Kiki, Auntie Jane, all the cousins, and my Uncle Dan. I don’t ever want the night to end. OOH AHH GOOD CRACKA!! Kiki is crazy, she says that during every firework, and we always join in. I can’t wait until Auntie Jane comes back to pick us up. We can go in her hot tub, and wake up to her signature breakfast. Banana surprise!

    Please let us stay up until Auntie Jane comes back.

My sister and I are little puppies whining to get what we want.

Auntie Jane decided to stay home, she will be back in the morning to see you guys. Go to sleep.

We hear mom aimlessly rushing around. Doors opening and closing. We are afraid to look out knowing something bad has happened. I open the door enough for just our little eyes to peer through. Dad is crumpled on the floor like a neglected shirt. We run to hug him. Feeling him softly bounce up and down. Hearing his silent but violent cry.

Auntie Jane won’t be coming back. We will never watch fireworks with her again. Never open the glow in the dark band-aids we love to play with. Never dress up in her clothes. Never sing Christmas carols with that little singing Christmas tree. Never have Banana Surprise. And never spend all night in her hot tub.

What if she came back that night? What if we were with her? What if she stayed at our house? What if she went in five minutes earlier? What if?

A firework exploded inside of me that night. And the celebration was over.