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I'll be there
February 6, 2013
I'll be there watching you
As you puff up like smoke
I'll be there searching for you
When you lose yourself.
© Cynthia A., Phoenix, AZ
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 6 comments.
TanviKusum DIAMOND said...
on May. 16 2013 at 12:00 pm
Thanks gwenndy! Yeah, I'll have to keep thud technicalities in mind next time! Appreciate your comment :)
This is beautiful. It says a lot, but in only a few words. But haikus are 5, 7, 5. It consists of three lines. 5 syllables in the first line, 7 in the second, and 5 in the third. It takes practice and lots of counting. You'll get there soon. Good luck!
TanviKusum DIAMOND said...
on Feb. 17 2013 at 4:13 am
Hey, thanks for the advice. I appreciate it very much. Actually I haven't done haiku specifically in school but I did try to know about it from the Internet. The seven syllable thing is very confusing. shall research more! :D thanks again
KnitsandPurls GOLD said...
on Feb. 16 2013 at 10:28 am
First of all congratulations on your Editor's Choice! That's awesome! Also, I love the simple repitittion. In only four lines, you seem to have said much more. That is the beauty of poetry, and you have mastered it. I have a piece of advice, but it is more technical than anything else. This poem does not follow the syllable sequence necessary for it to be a haiku, so I would have posted it in the free verse section. Overall, I enjoyed this. Excellant, strong work! P.S. I have a haiku posted entitled "Fluent in Dance". If you wanted to check it out, I would appreciate it. No pressure, though. :)
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