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Through That Doorway
April 4, 2013
Through that doorway lays a land full of peace,
people full of hate,
and hearts full of love.
Turn the doorknob and see the fires cease,
officials in debate,
wealth and power rise above.
What lays beyond the door-frame is but a bipolar mess,
an indecisive crowd,
lazy and crazy "countrymen".
Step out and let your mind know of our worthlessness,
see the shrouds,
think of how long this has been.
© Samantha H., Savannah, GA
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 4 comments.
Helena_Noel BRONZE said...
on Apr. 15 2013 at 7:07 pm
Holy shoot, a real good one! I like this, i like the tone and the way it makes you think. I paused in the beginning when i got to "people full of hate,/ and hearts full ove love." As i am sure you wanted me to. I was so used to thinking of doors into wonderlands and Narnian wardrobes that I had tostart over before continuing. This is a door to the real world, and perhaps that is a little more valable, at least in some ways. Your rhymes were clever, the idea behind int all almost wildly simple, but someone I love it. One tiny piece of advice? "Is but a bipolar mess" sounded odd, made sense! But still, the beginning, "Is but a" sounded like filler. Maybe an adjetive? "What lays beyond the doorframe is/ a [mad] bipolar mess..." or something like that. Dont kbow. Its super good anyway, and i still wanna give it a 5/5
LexusMarie PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 14 2013 at 4:30 pm
Hi! I love how in this poem you say things without really saying things! There was a sense of mystery and open perspective because you let the reader take what they want from this and try to decipher what it was about to not only you, but to the reader. The word choices are wonderful! The rhythm is also wonderful! Amazing, amazing job!
25 articles 3 photos 433 comments
Favorite Quote:
" a shattered world is only an opening into a new beginning with laughs, smiles, and love all around enter the world of the light and away from the broken darkness"