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Dear Granny
Every time I had the feeling
I told myself “stop tripping”
While I was looking up at the plain white ceiling
I told you to promise me
He told me not to worry
But when I got the call, yeah I was in a hurry
He said nothing was going to happen and I listened
Now I wish I was home just to see you in the kitchen
I didn't know how to start this or know what to say
I just really want to know why you took your life away
Was it really that easy
It wasn't too hard
I know me making this rap, is really bazaar
I should have paid attention to the things that you were doing
Maybe I should have been a better influence
Don't you know all of the things you put me through
If you're up there watching me, you'd probably have a clue
But don't get me wrong, I will always love you
Ever since I was born you helped raise me and Boo
Look, Granny, I miss you so much
And if I see you again, I'd yell at you a bunch
I'm mad at you for being so stupid and selfish
The day you pulled that trigger, you left me so helpless.
You taught me how to cook
And how to read a book
And ever since the day you left I've really been just shook
I just wanted to say that I love you so much
And I'd do just anything to see you and such
I want you to know you made that the worst day ever
But you will always be in my heart forever
I hope you come see me in my endless dreams
Rest in Peace Granny Maw, I'll forever scream
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On December 6, 2015, I lost my grandma to suicide, which was also very unexpected and it affected me really hard. My granny was a sweet lady, who to me, would have never did what she did and I say that because she was always apart of my life. She lived right next door to my parents and I, so she was apart of my everyday life. She was showing signs of depression, but me thinking I knew that she wouldn't do such a thing, I didn't pay attention. When I lost her, it took a toll on me and really changed my persepctive of life. I am also into hip pop/rap music so I made a short rap song dedicated to her.