Why do I open new doors and refuse to look inside

Why do I see my past and hide 

Why do I see the future as a complete lie

Why do I breath to try and stay alive 

Why do I keep doing the things I say I won't when I hurt inside

Why do I keep searching for new projects when I haven't finished my first

Why do I keep leaving people that don't make me hurt

Why do I search for pain and suffering deep inside 

Why do I keep trying to breath so far  in time

I keep these pain that struggle deep inside

So many battle I face with keen lies 

All I'm trying to do man is stay alive

One of these days I'll grow and fight the demons holding me down

I'll meet new angels that pull me up

Slam me down why do get i back up

Why do I keep fighting the battle they say I won't over come 

Why does everyone say my reality is something totally dumb

I DON'T CARE….I don't care

When is it my time to stop and look them in the eyes 

When will I fight for happiness and peace of mind

One day I'll grow up and find the reason to thrive 

So I'm going to keep going on and on until I get to the one who makes my heart beat to stay alive 

why?