I hate how I can't look at you and say no. How when you come around I lose all control. How just one touch sends my Imagination on a magic carpet ride, and my feelings won't subside.

I hate how I always feel like I'm in second place. How I feel its some big competition and I'm losing the race. How you make me want to run away and hide, and remember all those past tears I've cried.

I hate how I want you so bad but I know... How I'm nothing for real, just another piece of the show. How I look at myself and i want to change just for you. How I think everything I've done just wont do.

I hate how, she's still on the list. How even though I say I hate her, you don't get the gist. How I cry when I'm alone because it cant just be me, and no matter how many times I cry you'll never REALLY see.

I hate how I don't even hate you at all. How I crumble at your touch, knowingly letting myself fall. How I fight for your attention, fight to be right, Fight to be the only one you wanna hold at night.










But...

I love how you hold me. How we kiss when we dance. How even though I'm terrified I would give you one more chance. How when I'm really mad one kiss changes my mind, and I'm always stuck trying to find new things to bind.

I love how you love me. How you say I'm the one. How when you say it I believe you and become completely undone.

I love how I can lay in your bed for hours in end never wanting to leave. How I still love you so much though you're pro at my biggest pet peeve. How I can sit and watch you sleep and it doesn't make me seem weird. How you're the first thing that I've ever actually feared.

I love how you inspire me to write how I feel. How for the first time in a long time my feelings are real. How this poem started out as a way just to vent, and now its a song, feels heaven sent.

I love how I look at you and smile inside. How no matter how much I hate you for how hard Ive tried. I'll always come back for a little bit more. Because you're the one that I truly adore.