You taught be how to scream, to be heard,
Without you, I wouldn’t know unbearable pain,
You taught be how to forgive, but not forget,
You’ve succeeded, imprinting unforgettable memories

You taught me not to listen to malicious children,
You showed me there were worse things than bullies at school,
You taught me that I’m not going to be loved,
You showed me the reasons that I’m okay with that.

I always want to run away…

Because when, I’m with you,
I have half a heart,
Because when, with you,
I’m falling apart,
Because when, I’m happy,
You tear me down,
Because when, I’m with you,
I’m all alone.

You told me that my brother is perfect
That he’s cute, he’s smart, he’s better,
Yet the words don’t get to me, I just don’t like reminders
I’m fat, I’m plain, I’m stupid, let’s move on.

With every push, every slap,
You remind me I’m worthless,
With every hand around my throat, with every threat,
You remind me that you’re no better.

I always stay…

Because, without you,
I have no place to go,
Because, without you,
I’ll have no hope,
Because when, I’m sad,
I still have this home,
Because, without you,
I’m nothing.

So, I sit, under covers, afraid to dream,
My head in my hands, my knife near my feet,
Tears drip, from my eyes, down my chest
I feel cold, feel my heart beating fast

I’ve tried so hard, but it never paid back,
I’ve smiled for years, but now I can’t,
Blood stains my wrists, my arms, my legs,
I sit there, I burn, I feel dead,
Yet I feel no shame, when I see the marks,
Just a slight tinge of regret, a sting at the most,
Dignity, confidence and pride, I lost long ago,
I know, nothing I do, can take my scars back

I know that it’ll happen again…

Because, I’ve always dreamed,
Of having a plan,
Because, I’ve always hoped for,
A second chance,
Because when, I’m with you,
I need to escape,
Because, I am me,
I don’t want to exist.