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Should Have, Should Have
February 6, 2018
I shoulda said I hate your guts
I shoulda left what you’re part of,
I shoulda turned and ran like hell, like hell.
Starving horses in a pen,
You left them scarecrows in the rain
I wish I hadn’t heard your voice, in the first place
All because you couldn’t bring,
Yourself to open your sweet mouth
You left them scarecrows in the rain, in the rain.
My memories trapped in a jar
I hate myself ‘cause I am you.
I should have turned and ran like hell, like hell.
© Sean C., Princeton, IL
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A conversation with me and my 8-10th grade self. A lamentation of how I've wasted the past 2 and a half years in suicidal wallowing. I feel like I'll always be a little depressed for my whole life because of this experience. It's a part of me now. The horses are my family and friends I neglected. Scarecrows are the walls I put up so as to not be helped by anyone.