i watch the fire burn out,
the ashes flying into the wind;
flames died down to an ember.

quietly alone on the floor,
i stare off and sit in my thoughts,
losing myself in all i remember.

today, the flashback;
though i’m not sure if it matters
or what it could possibly mean.

but i see it all as if
it just happened moments ago.
now again it’s febuary nineteen.

that day i realized,
who i really am is
because of what i do.

there is nothing else of me,
and so i had to let myself
break down and cry with you.

i remember you holding me,
no matter what i was,
though i kept pushing you away.

so disgusted with myself,
and so hated my body;
though i could not let myself say.

though i wasn’t completely alone
because you were there for me,
i still gave in to my fears.

then when you let me down,
i broke apart empty
and let go all my tears.

and the day that you left
was the day i stopped trying,
losing myself to all i remember.


i watch the fire burn out,
the ashes flying into the wind;
flames died down to an ember.