Dear outside world,

It has been a long time since I tasted freedom. I’ve been locked up in this jail cell for insidious actions. I apologize to everyone who was affected by my scandals. I completely understand that I was wrong and shouldn’t have done anything of that nature on that island. Originally, I thought that it was okay since I owned the island, but I guess that “big brother” is right and is the most powerful thing on Earth. Some may say that it’s tyrannical, including me, but it’s besides the point. Anyway, I only have a few minutes left to write this letter before someone catches me. Life in this prison has been pretty rough. I am forced to wake up at 5 in the morning every day and go outside to break rocks with a hammer all day. My hands are becoming callased and are dry from the low humidity. All that I can think about all day is that I was the only one caught in this scandal. There were many people involved that were paying me to have a chance to be a part of it. I have a list of over 50 people that have written me a check for this. They’re all very important and influential, so I could only imagine what could happen to their careers if word got out. I wasn’t originally going to say their names, but I am tired of the BS that has happened over the last year. You may or may not be surprised by this, but one of the people that paid me to “visit” my island was….. *(Loud noises……. Sounds like strangulation…… or murder…….Sorry I was told I can’t say anything that could incriminate a person of power………. Scratch everything I just said……… Epstein hung himself on his bunk bed even though he had no reason to whatsoever……...This definitely isn’t suspicious at all……..)*      

-Sincerely, 

Jeffrey Epstein