Darling, I think I would rather die now I think that I have lived well and I think that in heaven if we may be together at last I would be willing to make the trade no matter how painful the transaction I think that I am done with life now and I would embrace what awaits me after wards I think that I miss you too much to find anything of color and I miss the vibrancy of the world now I think that I would like to know a different one now that joy is taken from this one. I think that I would like it if I had another chance with you perhaps you would not be there not in body or in mind or by name but I think that you would follow me in love because how can any heaven exist with out it and how would anyone ever manage to be happy in any kind of heaven if love had been left down upon the earth they had departed from I would not understand it that time has long past you have taken it and left it far behind us yet I have not missed its presence I do not crave that time I do not crave my present I believe I would like to go now darling I wont miss this life the same way that I have not missed the one that I lived for myself before you heaven isn’t too far and I cannot wait to embrace it to embrace love