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Late Nights
It was 9:30 at night, and I was finally pulling into my driveway after a long day of school and work. I parked my car and turned off the ignition; now, the only lights illuminating the inside of my car were the two lanterns sitting on two columns outside of my house. Before I walked into my house, I sat in my car, feeling the heat calm my body; I took three deep breaths before finally getting out of my car. As I walked into my house, I tried to keep my head down and step into my room so I could finish my homework and go to bed. I was so tired and frustrated from the day I did not want to talk to anyone in my house. But as usual, my dad walked into my room. At the time, I took all my homework out of my backpack and set it on my desk.
"How was your day?" my father asked.
I turned to him, "It was alright, really long though," I explained.
"Yeah, mine was long, too," he said as he walked over to me. "Do you want me to heat you anything for dinner?" he asked.
"No, I'm okay right now," I replied. My dad then leaned in and hugged me.
"Alright, well, I'm gonna head to bed then; goodnight, love you," he said. As we pulled away from the hug and he began to leave, I yelled back, "I love you too." Once my dad had left, I finally sat down and dreaded starting my homework; all I wanted to do was curl up in my bed and put on a show to distract me from the long and frustrating day I had just gone through. But I knew that if I didn't do my homework now, I would regret it the following day. To help me focus and keep my mind awake, I picked a random playlist from Spotify to listen to. As I was trying to figure out when I would need pre-calculus in my everyday life, I suddenly heard the lyrics, "One day I won't need a Ph.D. to sit me down and tell me what it all means. Maybe it will be a breeze one day, but surely not today." As I heard these lyrics, I chuckled a bit because it felt as if God was playing a joke on me. I leaned back in my chair and took out my phone to look at the name of the song' its name is "Not Today" by Alessia Cara. I then started the song over so I could listen to all of it.
As the song began to play on repeat, I found myself leaning back in my chair, finally feeling my body relax. I could take my first deep breaths of the day while listening to the song. As the music played, another set of lyrics stuck out to me. "Oh, you don't know what happy means if it's only in your dreams. I'll be acquainted with my jollities but surely not today; yeah, surely not today." It always felt that in high school, you go through the day dreading your classes and the amount of homework you'll have to get done by the next day. It feels as if the only thing you have to ensure that your life will become easier is your aspirations for your future after high school. This song helped me to realize that no matter how different every student is, we're all going through the same thing; we're all just going through the motions and counting down the days until we're able to branch off into the real world.
I finally realized after listening to this song that I didn't have to be stuck in my head, and instead, I could look at the bigger picture; that even though life is difficult at the moment, the feelings I'm experiencing at the moment will eventually subside, and life will become fun again. And once life becomes fun again, that will ultimately reduce, and you will feel the same way you did at the beginning. But that's why life is an unending cycle of good and bad emotions. But that's what makes the good times just that much more precious.
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I am a senior in high school, and this memoir is about balancing the various tasks a teenage student has to juggle.