I have a tendency to rely on movies to establish certain beliefs, especially in the romantic department. I blame Ryan Gosling for this predicament.
I moved to Charlotte when I was 12 years old. I didn’t have many friends at the time, so naturally, I spent my Friday nights watching romantic comedies with my mom. We would break out our most comfortable blankets, make some microwave popcorn and take turns choosing the movie-of-the-night. From Clueless to Titanic, we watched what was new under the romance tab on Netflix.
One Friday, we watched one of my favorite love stories of all-time; The Notebook. The movie, based on Nicholas Sparks’ novel, focuses on two young lovers named Allie Hamilton and Noah Calhoun, played by Ryan Gosling. Basically, they are separated because of their social differences. While Allie is in New York, Noah writes 365 letters to her, but Allie is kept from them and eventually moves on. But when they reunite years later, it is evident that they still have feelings for each other, and Allie has to choose between her fiancé and her first love.
My 12-year-old self had gotten so immersed in the story that I wasn’t even thinking about how awkward sitting next to my mom during the makeup sex scene was. I mean, come on, he wrote her everyday for a year. That is the epitome of romantic gestures. By the last scene, I was in tears and my standards had skyrocketed.
From that moment on, my expectations became so much higher. I wrote down a list of dream date ideas ranging from planetarium shows to art museums. The part that proved to be the most difficult was actually finding someone.
The problem is, when you don’t know someone, they are so much more interesting. They can be anything you want them to be. That is, once you get to know them. Sure, you may want to go on late night drives with him and have absolutely no destination. But, in reality, he probably doesn’t even have his “After 9” license yet. 
Without movies, I may be less picky. I may not expect love at first sight or think about dream dates and what could have been or what could be. Maybe putting all my faith into fiction is a mistake that I will go on to regret when I’m old and bitter.
But, I like to think that one day, we will all find our Ryan Goslings. Or maybe we already have, and we just don’t know it yet. Now, that would be just like the movies.