I’m in love with the idea of you. Just like I was in love with the idea of Him being there for me, I was in love with not being alone. I was in love with the idea of someone loving me. I was in love with someone helping me put my heart back together. I was in love with the idea of being in love again. 

I’ve loved once before, and it gave me the most bitter sweet moments of my life. I was in love with someone that broke me. Every single detail about him I loved. I even loved his flaws more intensely than I loved his perfections. I loved the air he disregarded, the ground he walked on, every and anything he touched, but most of all I loved his voice. I loved how he treated me. I loved the bond we had. I loved loving him. I loved how he loved me. I loved him. The past tense of the word love.

Now with you, my dearest, i’m in love with the you that’s in my head. The you that actually likes me, that actually wants me. I’m in love with how good we would look together. I’m in love with the you that we all see. The put together, shy, sweet, athletic, smart boy version of you. I’m in love with the surface level you, but I want to love the you that no one else knows. I want to love you more than i’ve ever loved anyone before. I want to love every single intricate detail of you. I want to love your mysterious brain, and your monumental heart. I want to love the endless veins that pump blood into your mysterious brain, and your monumental heart. I want to love the air that rests in your lungs, the 17 muscles it takes to make you smile, and the 43 muscles it takes you to frown. I want to love the parts of you that you don’t like, and I want to love the parts that you do. I want to love you, but do you want to love me ?