Won't Fix It | Teen Ink

Won't Fix It

May 18, 2023
By LyReSa PLATINUM, Raleigh, North Carolina
LyReSa PLATINUM, Raleigh, North Carolina
34 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
“A man dies when he refuses to stand up for that which is right. A man dies when he refuses to stand up for justice. A man dies when he refuses to take a stand for that which is true.” — Dr Martin Luther King Jr


Looking down a far hallway, as it stretches and bends

Is this real?

My vision blurs without reason and suddenly im outside

The wind blowing on my scalp

Suddenly it seems like my reality has been denied


Denied of all access through my mind

I find that my mental note has been signed

Not by my name but my makers

As if to brand my future and scramble my past

I was the only taker


My mind has been a map of unsolved riddles

And storms that cause typhoons

Yet a simple pill can make the winds change and send clues to the brain

Though the only side effect is death

Long term right?


A life that isn’t and was never mine, taken by my mind

My body a hollow shell for turmoil and discord

As though instead of growing up

I simply grew into my mind and my thoughts


My nervous system, watches closely as my heart speeds up

My skeletal system watches my disease grow physical

My respiratory system sees my lungs give out 

Just as everything grows together it slowly dies


To rot slowly is a painful death but to live rotting is a painful life

The voices combine into noises

Combine into conditions and combine into diseases

A diagnosis won’t fix it

Medicine won’t fix it


If I have been living, why change it?


The author's comments:

Though I have lived with mental illness since I was a teenager, all while I was growing up I was adapting to my illnesses. Making them reality and never seeing a problem with it. Now when it effects my life in a daily basis and I am advised to take prescription drugs to "fix me" it will always feel wrong to feel "normal"


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