Twas the night before the premiere, and all through the world,
Fans waited to see what new curveball would be hurled.
They'd been waiting and waiting till their waiters were sore,
So many had yelled, "I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!"

Though never had they abandoned their obsession so dear,
Even after all this anticipation, year after year.
For the producers were mindful of the ragtag little lot,
And when they began to lose interest, revealed a bit more of the plot.

The news had been spread to their family and friends.
Why they weren't eager, puzzled the fans to no end.
That's all they discussed, for hours and hours,
"It looks like Lord of the Rings, especially Two Towers."

Eventually they found others of their kind,
On the Internet, or just waiting in line,
Until enough had been gathered to make a real group.
The called themselves, the Crusaders of Duke.

The Crusaders had sworn to keep together,
To stay true to each other no matter the weather.
For their humble fansite (which they had made last week),
Had gotten quite a few views, resulting in a very large peak.

However, these hits, were not very nice,
Insisting their brains must be full of headlice.
"How could you be excited for crap such as that?
Your judgement is poor and yo mama is fat!"

But no one minded these kids, having their fun,
"We've heard every bad insult under the sun."
Their faith was never shaken by any scandal or shame,
for which the actors or director might be to blame.

"We're here for the characters! We're here for the story!"
"We don't care that some guy might be lacking in glory."
They pursued every bit of merch they could find,
Every last bit, even the little kid kind.

The calendars were marked with precision and care.
They knew the date was soon, they were practically there!
Each bought a ticket, all in the same row,
Too excited to care the prices weren't low.

Now we're back to the night before once again,
Counting the hours, only a bit more than ten!
They plan to arrive at half past six.
Of course, they need to be there for pics.

Everyone's dressing up, each costume homemade,
The rest will be jealous, they'll for sure want to trade.
The clothing is perfect, everyone's faux weapons: ship-shape.
(One crusader packs a standby, a roll of duck tape.)

It's the evening of judgement, they simply cannot wait,
The credits will roll by, leaving nothing to hate.
"Remember gang," says the leader of the crowd,
"It won't be how we thought, now go make me proud!"

They nod in agreement and bustle away,
Posing and answering questions in the disarray.
Until finally. FINALLY. They're let into the dark.
Smoothing down the long robes, not leaving a mark.

Hands shake and are held, nervous and eager.
Their appetite for this is anything but meager.
The screen starts to flicker, all the eyes hold a gleam.
Two hours later... "THAT WAS THE WORST MOVIE I'VE EVER SEEN!"

The movie was a flop, a disappointment they know,
But somehow they're glad they obsessed over this show.
They found new friends that give, not take.
(The Crusaders become famous for their Fan Remake.)