All Nonfiction
- Bullying
- Books
- Academic
- Author Interviews
- Celebrity interviews
- College Articles
- College Essays
- Educator of the Year
- Heroes
- Interviews
- Memoir
- Personal Experience
- Sports
- Travel & Culture
All Opinions
- Bullying
- Current Events / Politics
- Discrimination
- Drugs / Alcohol / Smoking
- Entertainment / Celebrities
- Environment
- Love / Relationships
- Movies / Music / TV
- Pop Culture / Trends
- School / College
- Social Issues / Civics
- Spirituality / Religion
- Sports / Hobbies
All Hot Topics
- Bullying
- Community Service
- Environment
- Health
- Letters to the Editor
- Pride & Prejudice
- What Matters
- Back
Summer Guide
- Program Links
- Program Reviews
- Back
College Guide
- College Links
- College Reviews
- College Essays
- College Articles
- Back
Living Off Fumes
Mom, I’m sorry
Dad, are you ashamed of me
I feel like I keep trying
But keeping coming back to the dinner table
To cry
About depression
And eating 400 calories in a day
Though time stand still most my life
I still scream out about how I feel
Because I’m not afraid to let them hear me
Are they just afraid of listening?
To the soft whispers and pouts
While inside are riots and flames
And anger though that can’t explain inside
That today isn’t the right day to start feeling
Give it another try
To compare yourself to those that are suffering
In Sudan right now
Or in my own living room
Friend, I’m sorry for almost losing you on a Monday
It wasn’t the plan for you to die
And I still get your snapchat notifications sometimes
And fear what could have been
Eight day streak vanished again
My other friend, don’t you know you can express who you are?
You have it all, the perfect family, life, friends, no trauma at all
But what about what you keep behind locked doors.
Telling me your mother yells and your dad ignores
But now it comes down to the last one again
Im sorry honey, for not promising you
That I’d always stay the same
Some days my anger fluctuates but I love you just the same
Even if those days I rage sometimes all I hear is me, me, and me
From you
Just the same
But me, I don’t listen too well
And I can’t promise I’m completely worth it
But i’ve had the same conversations with myself over and over again
All I ever ask is, “am I worth it?”
To find love, live life as the barbie doll
But I can’t listen behind my brain being corrupted by the rhythm of music
And the beat always coursing through me
So I won’t listen too clearly
But I’ll still understand
People go through a lot of shit in life
Even if the tears in my eyes still stay the same
I’ll cry for you time and time again
Just to ignore what I’ve got behind my closed, eyes, heart, window, door and soul
Because my life feels like a movie
Even when all the film goes missing
I find the will to get out of my bed
Until one day
I don’t let anyone in to film it
Or view it
Or remember as anything important
Because I am the barbie doll of my life I promise,
That may be hollow yet still has everything to lose on the inside
Similar Articles
JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 0 comments.