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haunted houses
“why don’t you get scared in haunted houses?”
the thought rung in my ear like a shrill radio signal
was it the burden of the trauma i had felt,
the post-feeling of the consciousness that
once held captive in my soul?
I remember when I was scared of haunted houses.
it was before the event, naturally
the scare actors screeching in my ear would send
shivers through my being, laughing
along with my friends as we shook off that feeling
no longer scared of haunted houses,
i'm a different person now
fully eighteen; an adult
was maturing the cause
for lack of emotion
or was it the sorrow held in my heart?
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Trauma impacts everyone in different ways, the same as how our disabilities show outwardly.
I was diagnosed with schizophrenia in the fall of 2019. I knew something was "wrong" with me, how I heard things and witnessed sights that no other could experience. Before this, haunted houses scared the wits out of me, I would cry and be frightened that I was experiencing another episode.
Haunted houses were no longer scary after the diagnosis. I knew that the actors, props, everything was fake. Many people think that schizophrenics are "crazy" and undoubtedly mentally unable to be shown things like scary movies, haunted houses, or even hospital visits. Yet, I believe differently.
These settings show us that we aren't the only people who see spooky things in real-time. True, it can be triggering for some; avoiding the limelight of flashing lights and scary costumes.
But for me, haunted houses are my solace.