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alone
There are two types of being alone.
One is the alone where you're physically away from other people, but it's also the one where you want to be and you're content with that. This is the alone where you still feel like there are people who care about you, where you know you could reach out to someone who will be there for you if you want to.
The other is the one where you could be surrounded by people or sitting in your room in the dark. This is the one where you feel like even if there's billions of other people on this Earth, there is no one who cares about you. The one where it feels like you're screaming but no one hears or cares. This is the one that sits like a pit in your stomach. This isn't just feeling or being alone, this is the one that you're lonely.
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I wrote this a few years ago during quarantine and a very rough point in my life. I believe anyone who's ever felt this way will know exactly what I mean when they read it.