when i first heard the word

“activism”

i thought it was pretty cool

i wanna be an activist

then years passed and i

would be sitting through the umpteenth assembly

about taking initiative

what initiative, i ask you?

greta thunberg can 

try as hard as she wants

but the polar ice caps are still melting

and i don’t remember what spring feels like

anymore.

i remember distinctly the assembly

where the stonewall chorale 

came to sing for us

about matthew shepherd.

and at first i was annoyed

i would have preferred a free to

finish that english assignment due 

tomorrow

but

i enjoyed it.

their voices brought forth a light that

cannot be seen,

only felt.

i thought about matthew shepherd.

“we must unite,” they said

“we must stand together for a better tomorrow,”

they said.

time and time again

i found these messages being

thrown at my face like bricks

and you just can’t ignore them.

“we must unite,” they said.

“we must stand together for a better tomorrow,”

they said.

website after website it was the same

message in black font

unity

peace

freedom

equity

what does it mean? 

each one of these websites offered idea after idea,

plan after plan,

ways to fix a wretched world.

a world based upon greed and power

status and hierarchy.

after all,

where would we be without war?

what would our world be like

if everything were

perfect?

these people spend lifetimes

a cycle of endless samsara

attempting to touch a dream

they raise their signs and voices

to an audience that cannot listen

yet

i find that admirable

their persistence

and i remember those voices, the stonewall chorale,

and their recounting of the story of 

matthew shepherd

in song.

i remember thinking

they are flame chasers

people who spend lifetimes

chasing a flame

a little flicker, a little spark

to light up a world of darkness

i don’t need to be an activist to

“make the world a better place”

i listened 

and i know

and if more people would stop and listen

even for a brief moment

they can turn their heads, scoff, spit, and scream

but in the end they know

that flame, that burns oh-so-brightly, cannot be ignored

they know

we know

i know

we are all flame chasers