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Cheers
November 26, 2009
Where do you stand?
Here's to the emptiness.
The unfulfilled soul,
Always staring at an infinite horizon.
To the heart of the abandoned,
And the conscience of the abandoner,
To an annual absolution,
Hiding behind a weekly excuse.
To the imprisonment of thoughts,
In a room without walls.
To the light that claims a follower,
And somehow leads astray.
To the path that narrows into nothing:
To you.
Here's to you.
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 3 comments.
Jtrombetti1010 GOLD said...
on Dec. 18 2009 at 1:07 am
I would love some feedback from everyone!
5 articles 0 photos 5 comments
Favorite Quote:
"beauty is not blond,
love is not first sight,
family is not for gain,
respect is not a right,
knowledge is not key,
magic is not pretend,
peace is not paper,
goodbye is not the end"
If you don't mind me giving a suggestion, The very first line doesn't really seemed to go with the rest of the poem. I would suggest if you want to keep it then add a little more after the first line. Doing a nice transition from "where do you stand?" to "here's to the emptiness." But in general I really like it. It has depth to it and your vocabulary is amazing which makes your poem sound even better.
Like a quote says "poetry is a mirror which makes beautiful that which is distorted."