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There is Nothing Now

July 19, 2011
By poetic.eyes PLATINUM, Everson, Washington
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poetic.eyes PLATINUM, Everson, Washington
23 articles 3 photos 198 comments

Favorite Quote:
eARTh

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She pulls the hair out of her head.
She cries in agony.
The pain is tearing at her heart.
But she is satisfied.

Can she not cope with reality?
Does she always fly away?
Can she never live in the present?
Does she have to be carried away?

The one who once was peaceful,
she cries out now in pain.

Never does she see
the people who adored her;

Who now sit in pain
watching all they see.

The steady mother
close at hand.

The father
ever patient.

But nothing touches this throbbing mass;
The twitching body.
Her heart is an unmovable stone.
There is nothing now.

© Cerys W., Marblehead, MA

The author's comments:
Here I have placed myself watching a possessed young woman.
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 27 comments.

poetic.eyes PLATINUM said...
on Dec. 11 2013 at 9:24 am
poetic.eyes PLATINUM, Everson, Washington
23 articles 3 photos 198 comments

Favorite Quote:
eARTh

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Thanks so much for all the feedback, I really like your ideas!
EmmaClaire0823 GOLD said...
on Dec. 10 2013 at 6:51 pm
EmmaClaire0823 GOLD, Bay Minette, Alabama
13 articles 0 photos 102 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Be the change you wish to see in the world.&quot;

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I liked this a lot. It had wonderful imagery and figerative language. My only critic would be the last stanza. It doesn't flow as well as the rest of the poem. Good job!
Helena_Noel BRONZE said...
on Jan. 22 2012 at 9:40 am
Helena_Noel BRONZE, Burnt Hills, New York
1 article 0 photos 629 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;I&#039;d rather see a sermon than hear one any day; I&#039;d rather one should walk with me than merely tell the way: The eye&#039;s a better pupil and more willing than the ear, fine counsel is confusing, but example&#039;s always clear.&rdquo; -Edgar Guest

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This is a very strong poem, it draws you into the desperation and anxiety of the speaker, who obviously shares the mother's and the father's desperate desire to help this girl, but can't. I was really moved by the fourth stanza as well as the two last lines. Awesome job! 5/5 stars.
Mynameislindsayy SILVER said...
on Nov. 28 2011 at 10:11 pm
Mynameislindsayy SILVER, Seattle, Washington
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&quot;I&#039;d rather just except who I am, what&#039;s the use of trying to change?&quot;

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This is just great!! I totally loved it:)
Loftus GOLD said...
on Nov. 26 2011 at 6:58 pm
Loftus GOLD, Ocoee, Florida
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This was amazing!! So beautiful! Keep writing!!
poetic.eyes PLATINUM said...
on Nov. 26 2011 at 6:15 pm
poetic.eyes PLATINUM, Everson, Washington
23 articles 3 photos 198 comments

Favorite Quote:
eARTh

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thanks, that was my plan!
Simplemelody GOLD said...
on Nov. 26 2011 at 5:59 pm
Simplemelody GOLD, Otisco, Indiana
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Sad yet very very good. It has a sense of desperation and the want to help but you cant. I loved it. Great job!
poetic.eyes PLATINUM said...
on Nov. 26 2011 at 2:49 pm
poetic.eyes PLATINUM, Everson, Washington
23 articles 3 photos 198 comments

Favorite Quote:
eARTh

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thank you so much, really!
inkblot13 PLATINUM said...
on Nov. 26 2011 at 12:12 pm
inkblot13 PLATINUM, Auburn, New York
41 articles 1 photo 160 comments

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&quot;If I knew where poems came from, I&#039;d go there&quot; <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> - Michael Langley, &#039;Staying Alive&#039;

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This is awesome!!! It might be one of my favorites out of all of your stuff
poetic.eyes PLATINUM said...
on Nov. 25 2011 at 10:36 pm
poetic.eyes PLATINUM, Everson, Washington
23 articles 3 photos 198 comments

Favorite Quote:
eARTh

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Oh, I see what you mean! How I meant it to be, was that she is satisfied by it because she is possessed, and not really her self anymore, so she has no choice in a way. I hope that helped a bit, and didn't make it more confusing! ;)
The_End GOLD said...
on Nov. 25 2011 at 9:29 pm
The_End GOLD, Ashton, Idaho
10 articles 0 photos 31 comments

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What I love about this is how it doesn't really get physically graphic until the last stanza, which gives it that extra push for shock value.

I am a little confused about the possessed young woman's motivations. Does she want to be possessed (The last line of the first stanza made me wonder)?

Raytheraym PLATINUM said...
on Jul. 30 2011 at 11:01 pm
Raytheraym PLATINUM, Belton, Missouri
47 articles 35 photos 457 comments
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Wow, very good! Very meaningful!
blitsnik SILVER said...
on Jul. 29 2011 at 1:00 am
blitsnik SILVER, Palm Bay, Florida
8 articles 0 photos 51 comments

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I really liked this one, though the repeated away in the second stanza is noticable, it doesnt take away from the driving force behind the poem. great job!
CarolynQ GOLD said...
on Jul. 26 2011 at 11:36 pm
CarolynQ GOLD, Manalapan, New Jersey
10 articles 0 photos 220 comments
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I can feel the emotion in here, very strong. I enjoyed reading this :) Check out my work sometime!
silver_ice BRONZE said...
on Jul. 26 2011 at 3:32 pm
silver_ice BRONZE, Wheelock, Texas
4 articles 0 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
Imagination is the eye of the soul.<br /> -Joseph Joubert<br /> and<br /> Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.<br /> -Mark Twain ;P

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Wow this piece has such an awesome foreboding feel to it! It's kinda dark but poetry is about life and life isn't always butterflies and bubbles... Awesome work :)
poetic.eyes PLATINUM said...
on Jul. 24 2011 at 12:01 am
poetic.eyes PLATINUM, Everson, Washington
23 articles 3 photos 198 comments

Favorite Quote:
eARTh

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Thanks, and I'll look at your stuff asap!!!!!!!
poetic.eyes PLATINUM said...
on Jul. 24 2011 at 12:00 am
poetic.eyes PLATINUM, Everson, Washington
23 articles 3 photos 198 comments

Favorite Quote:
eARTh

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Thanks sooooooooooooo much Talia! I will be wating for more of your work!
gigi01 GOLD said...
on Jul. 23 2011 at 10:53 pm
gigi01 GOLD, Seffner, Florida
17 articles 0 photos 64 comments
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Wow, very moving... I like how the first stanza has almost conflicting moods... Great job... sad, but excellent! 
Taliacat13 BRONZE said...
on Jul. 23 2011 at 10:00 pm
Taliacat13 BRONZE, Bellingham, Washington
4 articles 0 photos 9 comments
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Wow...um...god, what can you say after that? It's very, very good. Probably your best. (so far...)

No, I just really, really like it. The wording, the spacing, everything. (Sorry for not being very specific).

 

Kai17 GOLD said...
on Jul. 23 2011 at 1:34 pm
Kai17 GOLD, Spokane, Washington
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I'd love it if you could look at one of mine; maybe Dance of the River or The Wolf. Thanks!