Murdered for Love | Teen Ink

Murdered for Love

November 25, 2011
By poetic.eyes PLATINUM, Everson, Washington
poetic.eyes PLATINUM, Everson, Washington
23 articles 3 photos 198 comments

Favorite Quote:
eARTh


Dear Sister

My dear has died under a tree
with seventeen bottles of bear.
Before, every night,
he roamed through the streets
howling and knocking at doors.

He would be locked up as a mad man I suppose.
But Johnny did save him;
oh Johnny my love!

Oh-sister will I be swallowed for that?

Johnny’s been nice,
a dear to us all.
But why if he loves me
did he save Richy’s life
so many times?

Or maybe he did not do this at all,
but made Richy suffer
long and hard blows.
Gave him to drink
the bear that he brewed
to save his own money;

Oh sister what should I do?


The author's comments:
I was inspired by the poem 'A Letter from Father' by unknown. I really liked the idea of a letter poem!

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This article has 12 comments.


on Dec. 9 2013 at 11:44 am
Dr.FeelGood GOLD, Allemen, Iowa
13 articles 0 photos 78 comments

Favorite Quote:
"is oxygen a gas?" brought to us by my friend the blonde.

kinda choppy but good

on Sep. 2 2013 at 4:57 pm
laughing4ever GOLD, Las Vegas, Nevada
10 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
The important gossip of today will be the gentle winds tomorrow.<br /> -Me :D

I really loved this! Keep up the good work! (I know its 2 years too late, but whatever!)

on Jun. 16 2013 at 3:44 pm
poetic.eyes PLATINUM, Everson, Washington
23 articles 3 photos 198 comments

Favorite Quote:
eARTh

Wow, thanks!!!

on Jun. 16 2013 at 3:43 pm
poetic.eyes PLATINUM, Everson, Washington
23 articles 3 photos 198 comments

Favorite Quote:
eARTh

Thank you very much for your suggestions! I wrote the two pieces you commented on quite a long time ago, and I think I'll rework them! Thanks again!

on Jun. 15 2013 at 8:49 pm
Carpe-Caffeam GOLD, No Where, Florida
10 articles 0 photos 444 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;If it weren&rsquo;t for the coffee, I&rsquo;d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.&rdquo; &ndash;David Letterman

I like the ideas behind this poem, but I felt extremely confused throughout. I think if it were a bit longer and more explanatory, it would make sense. You have the building blocks for a strong poem, though. Good job! :D

Mystiecub said...
on Jan. 14 2012 at 8:31 am
Beautiful. I don't know what else to say.

Moonlitnight said...
on Dec. 12 2011 at 10:14 am
I really liked that! And i don't like poetry that much :P

on Dec. 4 2011 at 5:43 pm
poetic.eyes PLATINUM, Everson, Washington
23 articles 3 photos 198 comments

Favorite Quote:
eARTh

okay thanks for the advice!

on Dec. 4 2011 at 8:56 am
inkblot13 PLATINUM, Auburn, New York
41 articles 1 photo 160 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;If I knew where poems came from, I&#039;d go there&quot; <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> - Michael Langley, &#039;Staying Alive&#039;

This has really great potential to be an incredible poem. And I love the idea of writing a poem like a letter, I'll have to try that some time.....

on Dec. 3 2011 at 2:14 pm
Viridian BRONZE, Nah, Louisiana
1 article 0 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;If there&#039;s nothing left to care about, there&#039;s nothing left to save.&quot;

Good poem but needs to be less confusing.

on Dec. 3 2011 at 12:54 pm
poetic.eyes PLATINUM, Everson, Washington
23 articles 3 photos 198 comments

Favorite Quote:
eARTh

oops, this is a rather rough draft I now notice. Sorry about the confusion!

on Dec. 2 2011 at 7:35 pm
PhoenixCrossing GOLD, Tinley Park, Illinois
14 articles 0 photos 178 comments
I really liked the format ! And at the end, I liked how it ended. Great job! The only thing I'm confused about is the relationship between the speaker, Johnny, and Richy. Also "bear" should be "beer" I believe. Otherwise great job :)