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Murdered for Love
November 25, 2011
Dear Sister
My dear has died under a tree
with seventeen bottles of bear.
Before, every night,
he roamed through the streets
howling and knocking at doors.
He would be locked up as a mad man I suppose.
But Johnny did save him;
oh Johnny my love!
Oh-sister will I be swallowed for that?
Johnny’s been nice,
a dear to us all.
But why if he loves me
did he save Richy’s life
so many times?
Or maybe he did not do this at all,
but made Richy suffer
long and hard blows.
Gave him to drink
the bear that he brewed
to save his own money;
Oh sister what should I do?
© Nick C., Boca Raton, FL
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 12 comments.
Dr.FeelGood GOLD said...
on Dec. 9 2013 at 11:44 am
kinda choppy but good
laughing4ever GOLD said...
on Sep. 2 2013 at 4:57 pm
I really loved this! Keep up the good work! (I know its 2 years too late, but whatever!)
poetic.eyes PLATINUM said...
on Jun. 16 2013 at 3:44 pm
Wow, thanks!!!
poetic.eyes PLATINUM said...
on Jun. 16 2013 at 3:43 pm
Thank you very much for your suggestions! I wrote the two pieces you commented on quite a long time ago, and I think I'll rework them! Thanks again!
Carpe-Caffeam GOLD said...
on Jun. 15 2013 at 8:49 pm
I like the ideas behind this poem, but I felt extremely confused throughout. I think if it were a bit longer and more explanatory, it would make sense. You have the building blocks for a strong poem, though. Good job! :D
Mystiecub said...
on Jan. 14 2012 at 8:31 am
Beautiful. I don't know what else to say.
Moonlitnight said...
on Dec. 12 2011 at 10:14 am
I really liked that! And i don't like poetry that much :P
poetic.eyes PLATINUM said...
on Dec. 4 2011 at 5:43 pm
okay thanks for the advice!
poetic.eyes PLATINUM said...
on Dec. 3 2011 at 12:54 pm
oops, this is a rather rough draft I now notice. Sorry about the confusion!
PhoenixCrossing GOLD said...
on Dec. 2 2011 at 7:35 pm
I really liked the format ! And at the end, I liked how it ended. Great job! The only thing I'm confused about is the relationship between the speaker, Johnny, and Richy. Also "bear" should be "beer" I believe. Otherwise great job :)
