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I'm Fine

January 6, 2012
By JoPepper PLATINUM, Annandale, Virginia
More by this author
JoPepper PLATINUM, Annandale, Virginia
35 articles 0 photos 782 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Freedom is the ability to not care what the other person thinks.&quot;<br /> <br /> &quot;Not all those who wander are lost&quot; --JRR Tolkien<br /> <br /> &quot;When you are listening to music it is better to cover your eyes than your ears.&quot; --Jose&#039; Bergamin

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My world is shadowed by their words
their smirks and superior stares cut off the air supply to my fire
I have a heartbeat
but I don’t live
I’d own the world if I had a penny for every time I’ve said “I’m fine”
what a lie
them not seeing the truth tears a chasm deep into my chest
I’m a ghost of the girl I once was
loosened of all hope
I start to drift off like a picture caught in the seas current
and slowly sinking…
Until a person clutches my hand and looks directly into my eyes
“Why are you so sad,” she asks
“I’m fine,” my lie reverberates through my skull
“That wasn’t what I asked. I said ‘Why’”
realization hit me like the sun’s golden rays peeking through a storm
She saw!
“Everyone is against me,” I whisper
“I’m not; want to walk home with me?”
I nod
A true smile crept onto my face and into my heart
The blossoming of a friendship is pulling me closer to shore!

© Jill H., Pompton Plains, NJ

The author's comments:
I entered the poetry contest in a Beta Club Convention. We weren't given the topic until we were in the room. The topic was "Friendship," They gave us an hour, and a thesaurus. We couldn't go over 200 words. It was alot of fun, this is what I wrote, I came in 4th place! Please read/rate/comment. Thanks! :)
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 18 comments.

SaphiraBrightscales DIAMOND said...
on Feb. 15 2013 at 11:29 pm
SaphiraBrightscales DIAMOND, Islamabad, Other
75 articles 16 photos 1136 comments

Favorite Quote:
I&#039;ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. <br /> - Maya Angelou <br /> When i was little/I used to point a chubby finger toward the dark sky/And ask my father/why some stars moved and others didn&rsquo;t/He would laugh and explain that some were airplanes/I still wish on them today ~ Laugh-It-Out<br /> The feathers of a crow are black/The ink of my pen is blacker/The pain of my heart is blackest~ Mckay<br /> If love produced a blossom/I&rsquo;d take it in my palm/What a blessing, the bright color!/How soothing, such a balm!/I&rsquo;d keep a petal for my own/The rest, drop from my hands/For such a flower would multiply/And populate the lands~ thesilentraven<br /> And I began to rival legends/Long entombed before my birth./But for all my much envied fame/The lust for more would not abate./The plaques and prizes with my name/Will, like all things, disintegrate. ~ TheEpic95 now known as Helena_Noel

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You're welcome, And Thank YOu!!
JoPepper PLATINUM said...
on Feb. 15 2013 at 3:18 pm
JoPepper PLATINUM, Annandale, Virginia
35 articles 0 photos 782 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Freedom is the ability to not care what the other person thinks.&quot;<br /> <br /> &quot;Not all those who wander are lost&quot; --JRR Tolkien<br /> <br /> &quot;When you are listening to music it is better to cover your eyes than your ears.&quot; --Jose&#039; Bergamin

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Thanks for commenting, and yes it is a wonderful feeling!   And I'll read some of your stuff also xD
JoPepper PLATINUM said...
on Feb. 15 2013 at 3:17 pm
JoPepper PLATINUM, Annandale, Virginia
35 articles 0 photos 782 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Freedom is the ability to not care what the other person thinks.&quot;<br /> <br /> &quot;Not all those who wander are lost&quot; --JRR Tolkien<br /> <br /> &quot;When you are listening to music it is better to cover your eyes than your ears.&quot; --Jose&#039; Bergamin

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Thank you for commenting and I'm on my way to your stuff also xD
SaphiraBrightscales DIAMOND said...
on Feb. 14 2013 at 10:32 pm
SaphiraBrightscales DIAMOND, Islamabad, Other
75 articles 16 photos 1136 comments

Favorite Quote:
I&#039;ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. <br /> - Maya Angelou <br /> When i was little/I used to point a chubby finger toward the dark sky/And ask my father/why some stars moved and others didn&rsquo;t/He would laugh and explain that some were airplanes/I still wish on them today ~ Laugh-It-Out<br /> The feathers of a crow are black/The ink of my pen is blacker/The pain of my heart is blackest~ Mckay<br /> If love produced a blossom/I&rsquo;d take it in my palm/What a blessing, the bright color!/How soothing, such a balm!/I&rsquo;d keep a petal for my own/The rest, drop from my hands/For such a flower would multiply/And populate the lands~ thesilentraven<br /> And I began to rival legends/Long entombed before my birth./But for all my much envied fame/The lust for more would not abate./The plaques and prizes with my name/Will, like all things, disintegrate. ~ TheEpic95 now known as Helena_Noel

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This is so amazing. It's as if I could see it all happening, I could hear you speak through the words...and yes, it is the best feeling in the world when someone notices... :)) Your poem is beautiful. Keep posting. Maybe check out some of my stuff.... You might like it :P
thatunknownthing DIAMOND said...
on Feb. 14 2013 at 12:20 pm
thatunknownthing DIAMOND, Dubai, Other
67 articles 0 photos 208 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift; that&#039;s why they call it the present&quot;

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awesome! the first few lines, esp. were really amazing! and 'id own the world if...' was creative, too.the last two lines were oddly long, though, quite disrupting the regularity of the poem. 4/5! check out some of my stuff if you can? :)
JoPepper PLATINUM said...
on Feb. 3 2012 at 5:09 pm
JoPepper PLATINUM, Annandale, Virginia
35 articles 0 photos 782 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Freedom is the ability to not care what the other person thinks.&quot;<br /> <br /> &quot;Not all those who wander are lost&quot; --JRR Tolkien<br /> <br /> &quot;When you are listening to music it is better to cover your eyes than your ears.&quot; --Jose&#039; Bergamin

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Ok thanks for reading anything of yours you'd like me to read?
Aginger GOLD said...
on Jan. 29 2012 at 2:18 pm
Aginger GOLD, Bingen, Washington
11 articles 0 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Why are you so busy trying to fit in when you were born to stand out?&quot;

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This poem is beautiful but also very sad, which is a great contrast in poetry. I really enjoyed this, ad the happy ending was a nice surprise. The only thing I would suggest is maybe switching up your line breaks and making sure that powerful words are put at the end of each sentence. Well done!
JoPepper PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 29 2012 at 10:53 am
JoPepper PLATINUM, Annandale, Virginia
35 articles 0 photos 782 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Freedom is the ability to not care what the other person thinks.&quot;<br /> <br /> &quot;Not all those who wander are lost&quot; --JRR Tolkien<br /> <br /> &quot;When you are listening to music it is better to cover your eyes than your ears.&quot; --Jose&#039; Bergamin

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Thank you both of you!!! If you'd like me to read/rate/comment on any of your stuff, just ask! :)
JoPepper PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 29 2012 at 10:49 am
JoPepper PLATINUM, Annandale, Virginia
35 articles 0 photos 782 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Freedom is the ability to not care what the other person thinks.&quot;<br /> <br /> &quot;Not all those who wander are lost&quot; --JRR Tolkien<br /> <br /> &quot;When you are listening to music it is better to cover your eyes than your ears.&quot; --Jose&#039; Bergamin

View profile
Thanks so much, I almost got 3rd but they gave the 3rd place plaque to the wrong person (there was a little mix up) and I ended up with 4th place. I was like "really? Oh well I won something, I'M SO HAPPY!!!!"
JoPepper PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 29 2012 at 10:46 am
JoPepper PLATINUM, Annandale, Virginia
35 articles 0 photos 782 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Freedom is the ability to not care what the other person thinks.&quot;<br /> <br /> &quot;Not all those who wander are lost&quot; --JRR Tolkien<br /> <br /> &quot;When you are listening to music it is better to cover your eyes than your ears.&quot; --Jose&#039; Bergamin

View profile
Thank you, if there's anything else you'd like me to read/comment/rate I will willingly do so! :D
JoPepper PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 29 2012 at 10:43 am
JoPepper PLATINUM, Annandale, Virginia
35 articles 0 photos 782 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Freedom is the ability to not care what the other person thinks.&quot;<br /> <br /> &quot;Not all those who wander are lost&quot; --JRR Tolkien<br /> <br /> &quot;When you are listening to music it is better to cover your eyes than your ears.&quot; --Jose&#039; Bergamin

View profile
Okay, thank you, I'll definitely take those things into consideration! :)
JoPepper PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 29 2012 at 10:41 am
JoPepper PLATINUM, Annandale, Virginia
35 articles 0 photos 782 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Freedom is the ability to not care what the other person thinks.&quot;<br /> <br /> &quot;Not all those who wander are lost&quot; --JRR Tolkien<br /> <br /> &quot;When you are listening to music it is better to cover your eyes than your ears.&quot; --Jose&#039; Bergamin

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Really?! Thank you anything of yours you'd like me to read? ")
JustAnotherOwl SILVER said...
on Jan. 28 2012 at 6:52 pm
JustAnotherOwl SILVER, Unknown, New York
6 articles 0 photos 378 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;See, we don&#039;t really care who you are;<br /> Everyone is capable of looking up and wishing on a star.<br /> So catch it, so contagious, this day-dreamer&#039;s disease,<br /> And hope can be your sword, slaying darkness with belief.&quot;<br /> <br /> &quot;Sanctuary&quot;- Paradise Fears

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The emotion is so clear, it's incredible! And you make it so...relatable! (: I really really love this! My favorite line is "I'd own the world if I had a penny for every time I've said "I'm fine"" I'm favoriting this!
FireIgnited said...
on Jan. 28 2012 at 3:48 pm
FireIgnited, Valley City, North Dakota
0 articles 0 photos 29 comments
View profile
I just want to warn you that I'm pretty overly critical on my own work, so I tend to be that way for others too. Okay, so I really like the topic. One suggestion I have is to try to make the lines closer to the same length. Sometimes it does work to have them all different, but in this case I think continuity in your line length would improve the poem. I also think that capitalizing the first letter of each line would make it look more professional. Watch your punctuation, especially with things in quotation marks. Now for some positive things! :) I really like your word choice. "I'd own the world if I had a penny for every time I've said 'I'm fine'" is one of my favorite lines from this poem. Another good line is "I'm a ghost of the girl I once was." Overall, a very good poem and concept. Sorry if I've been too critical, but hey, that's what this site is for, right? :)
lucybrown SILVER said...
on Jan. 28 2012 at 1:35 pm
lucybrown SILVER, Blacksburg, Virginia
7 articles 0 photos 112 comments

Favorite Quote:
The wastebasket is a writer&#039;s best friend. ~Isaac Bashevis Singer <br /> <br /> First things first, but not necessarily in that order. ~ From Doctor Who

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I enjoyed this a lot! I liked the imagery and this poem had a lot of emotion and hope within it. Great job!
EmmaNemma GOLD said...
on Jan. 28 2012 at 1:11 pm
EmmaNemma GOLD, The Shire, Vermont
10 articles 0 photos 43 comments

Favorite Quote:
If you think you are a hypochondriac by definition aren&#039;t you?

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I really liked it. The way it seemed right from the heart gave it an intense, deep feeling. You could try monitoring the syllables in the lines so it flows slightly better but I honestly think that it's amazing as it is.
Helena_Noel BRONZE said...
on Jan. 27 2012 at 8:20 pm
Helena_Noel BRONZE, Burnt Hills, New York
1 article 0 photos 629 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;I&#039;d rather see a sermon than hear one any day; I&#039;d rather one should walk with me than merely tell the way: The eye&#039;s a better pupil and more willing than the ear, fine counsel is confusing, but example&#039;s always clear.&rdquo; -Edgar Guest

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This is beautiful! you did a very good job and it must have been one 'eck of a convention for you to only be ranked fourth! I love to see something on the subject of friendship and it is a shame that so few on TI that get attention are on the positive side of this topic. This was truly touching, great job! 5/5
beautifulspirit PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 27 2012 at 6:37 pm
beautifulspirit PLATINUM, Alpharetta, Georgia
35 articles 0 photos 1398 comments

Favorite Quote:
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.<br /> --Eleanor Roosevelt

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I like this--it was a little sad, but the imagery was good. I especially liked the part about having a heartbeat, but not living. Good job!