The first time we met I was just a baby
Laying in the hospital wrapped up in blankets that smelt of blood,
Young, innocent and fresh I came out of our mama’s flesh,
With you’re big, brown, beautiful eyes you looked up at her,
your soft red lips uttering questions about my existence,
from there you learnt we were related,
a word new to you, as it was new to brother when you were born
Our relationship was the sort of relationship that intertwined from the roots up, a relationship where we did not just lend a hand, or an ear but our souls,
where you were my bestfriend,
a sisterhood,
when I was old enough to go to school,
you were there for me when I needed you,
my hand in yours like puzzle pieces, they fit just right
we skipped across the road, you held my hand tight
it was me against the world, wait, no you against the world,
It was us against the world,
Every birthday, every Christmas and every year you were there
As our relationship grew, so did my hair
Every joke to laugh at,
Every tear to wipe away,
Every ex to mock at,
Every smile you made,
But everything that is good doesn’t last forever,
Soon we drift apart like 2 polar bears on ice,
And boy did I blame global warming,
As the clouds began to roll in, thunder was my only light
And something unmentionable happened that night,
Anger and hatred had filled up my soul,
But my fear was greater; my body ached for your comfort
A ray of sunshine hit my tanned skin,
I was unable to keep this entire burden within,
Pouring out all my tears on the your bedroom floor,
You sat and watched me as if I was puking mercury acid all over you,
Disgusted, with disbelief, you slapped me with four words,
Words that made my blood curdle, made my skin peel,
They say action speak louder than words but why does it feel like you have ripped my guts out, and shoved it back down my throat?
“maybe you imagined it”
“maybe you imagined it”
“maybe you imagined it!”
Apparently the more times you say things, the meaning decreases, but repeating it just seems to be a reminder of my tears,
On your bedroom floor,
When I poured open my soul unto you,
Like a patient who had just got a big deep scratch from life, and it hadn’t healed so he visited a doctor,
The only difference is the patient got help,
You left me there, abandoned me, I told you the weather forecast and you chose to put on your swimming suit and paddle away,
Knowing that I needed you,
When I needed you most, you turned your head,
When I needed you most, you closed your eyes,
When all I needed was my big sister to pull me in like a tide, and whisper ‘everything’s gonna be alright’
You didn’t,
And my legs carried me away from you,
Towards my bed, and on my pillow I rested my head,
Heavy from burden, my tears gushed out like food for my pillow,
And it absorbed my screams for help; I had hit a new low
One eye releasing pain from that night,
And the other from hurt, my face pale and white
Water flowed from my hair as I took a deep breath,
I picked myself up, dusted my clothes and met my maker,
Learnt how to swim and I let go instead of holding on to you,
I held on to him,
And from then on I learnt to grow up, like a seed into a tree bearing luscious fruits,
I will never forget my roots,
But as all good things never last,
your time as my keeper has gently passed.
When we first met I was your girl
and now it’s me against the world.