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Again
last night I felt
something heavenly,
like my heart
were to break-
out of my own chest
from the rush of joy
and anticipation,
a burning sensation
at every limb
and for the first time
the warmth and moisture
from the palms of my hands
sank to the balls of my feet,
and nothing else mattered,
except that
the sunny breeze traveled
from outside my window
to my dancing spirit,
until the next morning,
when the mystery arrived:
a fear of the unknown
brought an eerie pause
to my strange heart,
and then the warmth
from my feet
rose back to my hands,
and sent my mind spinning
into an unfortunate reality,
where I may or may not
have failed again,
but I'm not devastated,
for this is an endless cycle
I have thrown myself into,
and I am numb,
and nothing even mattered
except that
the pouring rain fell
from the top of my roof
to the bottom of my soul.
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I confessed something to someone the night before I wrote this, and there was a rush that went through me before I'd realized what I had done to myself.