you f***ing broke me. i dreamt about you every night this week and it was so vivid, i guess i just know you too well. i could almost feel your arms wrapped around my waist and i could almost taste your soft lips on mine, but then i woke up. i woke up and reached out my hand but you were no longer there, my t-shirt smelt of that familiar cigarette and liquor scent that its had since you left. i wish life was a clock because i keep turning back time inside my mind. but my clock has been broken. you took yourself away not in an hour but a minute and with that my clock fell apart. I say I don’t miss you but its the times he grabs me like you used to and I can’t help but want to rewind to the times when you loved me the way I love you. its the times he smiles from across the room and i get butterflies in my stomach because that’s how you looked at me. i say i dont miss you but the day you told me there was someone else, someone new to be the moon of your life, i looked to the horizon and knew my sun wouldn’t rise and my stars wouldnt shine. but now you’re a stranger and how can i still love someone who i barely know. the sky continues to darken when i see you but sometimes i can’t help but miss the ways you used to treat me. i say i dont miss you, but its the times i sit alone at night and my mind is clouded with memories of you. it’s when people ask who i’m with and your face flashes across my eyes instead of his. its when his lips are on mine but i taste you and when his green eyes meet mine, i see blue. its those moments when he grabs my waist and i feel the fire in your fingertips that leave invisible imprints. its when he drops me off after a wonderful night and i still whisper your name. it is then i realize my love is you. not him. I say I don’t miss you, but I love you, I don’t love him, but he’s here and you’re not. You said that you you didn’t miss me, and it was then that I felt lightning strike my body in all the places that you said you would always love. I said that I don’t miss you but here I am with a heart beat like thunder and eyes like a hurricane.