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Sleep With Me

February 19, 2015
By Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
More by this author
Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
32 articles 9 photos 525 comments

Favorite Quote:
[i]No matter how much people try to put you down or make you think other things about yourself, the only person you can trust about who you really are is you[/i] -Crusher-P

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his back

calls to me

in the curve and bend of his spine,

the way it

slumbers

with the rest of him

in the dead of night.

© Alana R.

The author's comments:

This is meant to be non gender-specific. It could be anyone speaking about someone who identifies as male.

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 18 comments.

Allen. PLATINUM said...
on Feb. 12 2016 at 6:45 pm
Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
32 articles 9 photos 525 comments

Favorite Quote:
[i]No matter how much people try to put you down or make you think other things about yourself, the only person you can trust about who you really are is you[/i] -Crusher-P

View profile
...My friend came up with the idea at 4 am after waking up randomly ; u ; So I'm glad I captured that feeling.
Lunch SILVER said...
on Feb. 12 2016 at 3:35 am
Lunch SILVER, Manila, Other
5 articles 0 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
"There is always something left to love." – Gabo Marquez

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I love this poem. There's something about it that's just so... intimate, like something written at 4 a.m. in a spark of inspiration. It captures an endearing moment, and it depicts it simply yet sweetly. And I think the length's just perfect for this type of poem.
Allen. PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 6 2015 at 12:37 am
Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
32 articles 9 photos 525 comments

Favorite Quote:
[i]No matter how much people try to put you down or make you think other things about yourself, the only person you can trust about who you really are is you[/i] -Crusher-P

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Thank you very much. I'm rather inspiration-less currently, but hopefully soon I'll write more.
Amara-rose GOLD said...
on Apr. 5 2015 at 5:11 am
Amara-rose GOLD, Pendleton, Indiana
16 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
Let go and live.

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It an over all great poem i just feel my self wishing that there was more of it
Allen. PLATINUM said...
on Mar. 20 2015 at 6:45 pm
Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
32 articles 9 photos 525 comments

Favorite Quote:
[i]No matter how much people try to put you down or make you think other things about yourself, the only person you can trust about who you really are is you[/i] -Crusher-P

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Thank you, Ballerina. A lot of my poems do seem to have a feel of not being entirely done, which I need to work on.
Itsbeenalongday SILVER said...
on Mar. 20 2015 at 10:07 am
Itsbeenalongday SILVER, Hendersonville, North Carolina
7 articles 0 photos 27 comments

Favorite Quote:
The Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time!

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I like the beginning a lot it feels a little unfinished but the detail work is great.
Allen. PLATINUM said...
on Mar. 11 2015 at 12:16 pm
Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
32 articles 9 photos 525 comments

Favorite Quote:
[i]No matter how much people try to put you down or make you think other things about yourself, the only person you can trust about who you really are is you[/i] -Crusher-P

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Thank you, jking. I'll work on making it less abstract.
Allen. PLATINUM said...
on Mar. 10 2015 at 12:24 pm
Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
32 articles 9 photos 525 comments

Favorite Quote:
[i]No matter how much people try to put you down or make you think other things about yourself, the only person you can trust about who you really are is you[/i] -Crusher-P

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Ahh, but if someone doesn't understand it, I need to fix it. But thank you very much. That is actually how it's supposed to sound.
jking445 BRONZE said...
on Mar. 9 2015 at 7:36 pm
jking445 BRONZE, Middleburh Heights, Ohio
3 articles 0 photos 31 comments

Favorite Quote:
Just let yourself be free because even broken wings can fly away.<br /> <br /> Sanctuary ~ Paradise Fears

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its good start, sorta confusing. add more too it (:
MysticMusic ELITE said...
on Mar. 9 2015 at 6:50 pm
MysticMusic ELITE, Waterloo, Other
116 articles 0 photos 118 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.&rdquo; -Mae West<br /> &quot;It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.&quot; - Leonardo Da Vinci

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I like how it's disconnected, like someone just woke up in the night, as the morning light shines in, and notices the back of that special person, before drifting off to sleep again. Your poem definitely is better than what criticism someone who doesn't understand it could give you.
Allen. PLATINUM said...
on Mar. 8 2015 at 7:43 pm
Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
32 articles 9 photos 525 comments

Favorite Quote:
[i]No matter how much people try to put you down or make you think other things about yourself, the only person you can trust about who you really are is you[/i] -Crusher-P

View profile
Thank you for your critique and getting back to me so quickly. I will write longer poems :3
Allen. PLATINUM said...
on Mar. 8 2015 at 7:42 pm
Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
32 articles 9 photos 525 comments

Favorite Quote:
[i]No matter how much people try to put you down or make you think other things about yourself, the only person you can trust about who you really are is you[/i] -Crusher-P

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Thank you, JRaye. I'll be sure to work on that.
SCSKATE SILVER said...
on Mar. 8 2015 at 7:19 pm
SCSKATE SILVER, Austin, Texas
9 articles 5 photos 23 comments
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I think that if you made it longer, you could convey your message better.
JRaye PLATINUM said...
on Mar. 8 2015 at 11:21 am
JRaye PLATINUM, Dorr, Michigan
43 articles 10 photos 523 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;If you build your house far enough away from Trouble, then Trouble will never find you.&quot;<br /> <br /> &quot;Have you ever looked fear in the face and said, &#039;I just don&#039;t care.&#039;?&quot;

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Could be improved - the word choice is a bit confusing, but the spooky, sensual feeling is still there :)
Allen. PLATINUM said...
on Mar. 1 2015 at 4:54 pm
Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
32 articles 9 photos 525 comments

Favorite Quote:
[i]No matter how much people try to put you down or make you think other things about yourself, the only person you can trust about who you really are is you[/i] -Crusher-P

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Thank you, Llama. I suppose I'll be off to write more poetry~
Allen. PLATINUM said...
on Mar. 1 2015 at 4:54 pm
Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
32 articles 9 photos 525 comments

Favorite Quote:
[i]No matter how much people try to put you down or make you think other things about yourself, the only person you can trust about who you really are is you[/i] -Crusher-P

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Thank you, yummy, for being honest. I really appreciate it.
.king. SILVER said...
on Mar. 1 2015 at 2:33 am
.king. SILVER, Yeux Bien Tres Bien, Other
9 articles 4 photos 569 comments

Favorite Quote:
( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡&deg;)

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Oooooo, the definition of swell breivty and feeeeeels.
a.ka.hydro said...
on Mar. 1 2015 at 1:18 am
a.ka.hydro, Jowai, Other
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments
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don't understand it, sorry...but u got a good mind.