I awake
And the sea is beckoning.
I long to travel past the silent white wavebreak
Further and further and further until I reach the point in the distance that only I can see
Where the waves are relentless and tempting
And there are no hands to pull me out of the water
Only pressure to pull me under.

I awake
And the ocean is threatening.
As I stand on the bluff, I think of nothing
I think of everything.
Black-indigo water churns below me, chanting in a language I learned long ago;
The darkness laps at my feet, teasing me with a sense of humor I will soon learn.
I close my eyes,
Forget,
And before I know it
I'm swimming.

I awake
And the tide is calm.
During the day
A toddler plays beside me
Under an umbrella,
Safe from the sun's harsh rays.
Under his breath he mumbles nonsense,
And I smile to no one
As he carefully buries his legs in the sand.
At night
I lay under the sky
Watching the clouds spin,
Listening to the waves break and the song in my head,
Smelling the salty breeze as it whispers across the holes in my sweater,
Feeling your tight arm around me
And knowing that no matter how rough the sea churns,
You will never let me drown.