I may seem like I am fine,
You can’t just swing my emotions around on vines,
Time will tick and tick,
But that doesn’t mean I am fine,
I might dye hair,
Change my style,
Anything to escape the reality of being me,
A girl who dies from anxiety every second of her life,
A girl who can’t live with guilt and will blame herself for ages because of this,
A girl who lacks such confidence in such a way where she starves herself for days on days,
Cries from the calories a caramel apple brings,
It is okay to have anxiety,
It is okay to cry,
Just eventually you have to find a route to a point where you can breathe,
Before your anxiety eats your brain,
Because if it eats your brain,
You instantly die,
With no hope of survival,
At all,
I want a tattoo,
Small and on my back,
Only people close to me will see this scar,
Anxiety it will say,
Because anxiety is apart of who I am,
I have had to live with it since I was 4,
People judge me for it everyday,
I want anxiety printed in ink on my body,
To prove to people that love me,
That I accept that I am far from okay,
To those that love me,
This news should be no surprise,
You have seen me flip out and crash to the ground,
My life a’int easy,
It’s a roller coaster,
I want this ink,
So I can look at myself in the mirror,
And breathe quietly to myself,
“I have beat you once, I sure as hell can do it again”
and repeat this again and again until I am far from dead.