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Refuge
In every story told by
sailors and seamen
where perilous walls of water
threaten to swallow them whole,
where rain lashes down like daggers,
and salt spray in the air, crystals decorating their beards.
they grip the wheel tight, hands
weathered and torn, seeking
for the light that pierces
the dark and reel them to
the wooden dock that guide
their tired souls to shore.
I remember
years ago, when I was carefree.
No burdens too heavy, and
no thoughts too convoluted.
Nothing would ever
scorch my heart aside from a
harsh comment and nothing would ever
weigh my shoulders down aside from a
heavy fever and nothing would ever
desolate me aside from
times when I get lost in the aisles of stores.
But these moments were always
fleeting. Don’t ever worry, my darling,
come home to me whenever you feel
scared and lost. I always, and always
will be, here for you. She would say softly, enveloping
me with warmth. I was always able to
return to my dock when
the ocean got rough. Nothing could ever
trespass my mother’s comforting arms as she
held me, allowing the crates of
worry to spill away slowly.
Nowadays, troubles cloud my mind as even
passersby strain my brain. I found
there’s more than just occasional words or
occasional fevers or occasional losses at stores that
flood your boat’s deck, leaving you
broken and lost.
The waves grow increasingly turbulent as I
look for my dock. But the sea
has been shrouded with
a thick layer of fog, and the boat
drifts astray. When I start to crumble and
fear the unknown future, I seek
my dock. But instead of
her cradling arms, I receive
rambled advice about the future and
bearing life’s burdens.
I’m scared when I move I’ll be alone there
without you guys, the words tumbled through
my fingers as I buried my face into
my hands. I thought you said
you’d be fine. She stood above me, questioning
my sudden change of heart, a sharp
gaze of disappointment piercing
through the crevices of the cage
I hid myself in. questioning
my sudden change of heart,
I knew I would be fine, but what I sought was
one last reassuring hug, where she would
squeeze me tight, and assure me
everything will be ok. But,
as she stood, unmoved,
I knew that the lighthouse keeper had
took out the light, and
I must find my own way back alone.
I wish
I could go back years ago, where
the dock was still open, and the lighthouse would
guide me to safety, where
I could unload my crates and let my
tears flow without a care for what the future holds.
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