I can hear the water swirling around in my stomach.
Swish swash.
The sound makes me sick.

Water is the only thing I drink.
It has no calories.
It can only help me.

Swish swash.
It slaps the sides of my skin as I run.
Exercise.
How could I not?
I'm constantly told I need to be smaller in order to be beautiful.

I'm taught to make myself invisible.
So small, even my family says,
"Where is she?"

Sorry.
Was that too much to say?
Did I fight back and go against standards set for women in a world ruled by men?

Sorry.
I say that word a lot.
I'm sorry. So sorry.
Why is it that every question I ask starts with this word?

I'm slowly folding in on myself, just like an envelope.
But unlike an envelope, I hold nothing important.
If you opened me, what would you find besides a heart that has been torn apart
by constant criticism?

My brother asked me today, "Why are you so preoccupied with how you look. Why
don't you just be yourself?"
My soft laughter filled the room.
"Oh how little you know."

You see, my brother has been taught to grow out, while I have been taught to
grow in.
Growing in has taught me that I must say "please" when asking for a basic right.

Why must I fight for something given so easily to others?
Why is my opinion constantly disregarded?
Why am I taught to put others before me simply because of their sex?

Wait...I am but only a woman.
Should I be asking this?


I'm sorry.